Hey, Amy. Just my usual check-in with you to see how you're managing in 1950-something.
Hmm. Introspective today, are we? Well, in reality, you are actually waiting for me to get the time machine repaired enough so I can transport you back to the 21st century. But, for now, you're stuck in the 1950s.
Okay. So, last time we communicated, you rudely took off with the new greaser guy you met without saying goodbye to me.
So, let's delve into what's going on there, shall we? At least tell me his name.
Tony? The greaser guy's name is Tony?
Wow, what a ... surprise. Maybe you should ask him his last name so you don't, you know, mix him up with all the other greasers named Tony in the 1950s. Just sayin'.
Since you've decided to date, let's go over some of the "rules" of mid-century dating that you have no idea about yet.
EIGHT RULES OF DATING IN THE 1950s
Guys do the calling to ask girls out on dates from a telephone that is connected to a wall by a cord.
Girls do not initiate a first date -- well, with the guy realizing it, anyway.
Cell phones, texting and emails do not exist.
The 1950s are a simpler, more innocent time than the 21st century, and dates are as well.
Going to a movie or to a bowling alley are considered ideal things to do as a young couple.
The guy always pays. Always.
Soft kissing and hugging are considered acceptable in public, as are necking and petting in cars. But, not on the first date.
Virginity is held in high regard at this time for, and mostly by, young women.
The guy must come to the front door of the house his date lives in to pick her up.
He must also meet the parents who are probably standing near the front door waiting and smoking.
Approval by the parents of a young woman regarding who their daughter is dating is of the utmost importance.
Same goes for the grandparents -- they are probably also waiting near the front door.
If you are going to a dance or fancy occasion with your date, the guy will bring a corsage and give it to you in a see-through plastic container.
However, wrist corsages are not a thing yet and when your date awkwardly tries to pin the corsage to your clothing just above your chest, he will jab your bra strap by mistake and stab you by accident. This is a common occurrence in the 1950s.
It is considered acceptable to date only one person at a time in the 1950s, although at dances it is totally okay to dance with others.